I am winding down. In the previous year’s practice of A Year to Live, I co-ordinated my practice with Joyce’s Year to Live group, which finished in February 2015. I began my next year’s practice just a little after that date, at the end of February. However her group then decided to have a little break, and begin again in April.
So, I’ll be ‘dying’ in ten days time – the evening of 28 February – whereas, they will outlive me. What does that mean? I”ll go to sleep on the night of the 28th, doing a particular meditation practice, and treating my entry into sleep as though it were my last moment of waking consciousness on this planet. (Later today, I”ll start working on a translation of the practice, which is from the Nikāyas.)
I started this ‘dying’ year blog thinking that I would probably wouldn’t exactly follow Stephen’s book, because it’s all there in the book, and Joyce would cover that in her group. (May the Stephen elements in the universe be at rest.) I thought that, instead, I would probably write about the kinds of conventional ‘death and dying’ practices that I had practiced for most years of (approximately) the last twenty. These kind of (Tibetan) practices have as their focus the task of ensuring that one is “ready,” as it is often said, ready to “exit this life – “to get our lives in order” psychically and materially. Because death can arrive at any time, that’s an important thing, obviously. Someone who has done that well lives vibrantly, unencumbered.
However, very quickly, it seemed to me, that if this were indeed my last year, I’d want to look more deeply into the matter of death itself – in life, and at the ‘last.’ I’d like to be acquainted with death, not because I’m going to exit at some later time, but because I want to know what death is, in this ‘now.’ Maybe we don’t understand what the word ‘death’ refers to, and all our ‘preparations’ might be unnecessary social constructions? It occurred to me, as I got into the practice, this time last year, that I hadn’t ever – in all these years of death and dying practice – I hadn’t practiced A Year to Live with only the historical Buddha’s approach. What was it? And, so it was that this year of looking at ‘what is death’ from the Nikayas point of view came about. I’m so glad that I took this route. And, now I have ten days to complete the task (presuming that I do actually live that long.)
I’m going to open up a forum, so that if anyone would like to comment, question, or engage in dialogue for the next ten days, you are welcome. I’ll send instructions in the next day or so. (After I figure out how to work it.) Maybe these posts have made you think about how ‘death’ is in your living? Maybe it has made you touch the losses that are inevitable in life. Maybe it has helped you live more vibrantly by cherishing your daily evanescent and precious moments. Maybe you’re more realistic or more frightened? Maybe you’d like to share that with others. You’re welcome.