I watched a DVD called “Happy” recently, given to Joyce and I by one beloved to us, and it was very good. One of the things that stood out for me was how achievable happiness is. A happier life can be cultivated. The science is in:

1) if you want to be happy more regularly, more deeply, find a way into the flow of your life. Doing something that you can become absorbed in brings this kinds of satisfaction. Recently someone told me that they used to paint, but now they do jigsaw puzzled – it gave them the flow they were looking for. The Nikāya Buddha’s, “Not indulging, not suppressing” is exactly the place of flow.

2) Gratitude, or thankfulness. This can be for the smallest things, or for the big things in your life. Making it a daily practice to name several things for which you are grateful, and taking the time to savour where you feel that gratitude in your body, this cultivates happiness.

3) Mindfulness has shown that people can increase their presence. Being present, freshly, supports optimism.

4) Engage in community. In the DVD, they particularly showed a group of hundred-plus oldies in Japan, who live together and are so happy for it. This one, too, is related to altruism.

5) ‘Altruism’ (OED) is “devotion to the welfare of others, regard for others, as a principle of action; opposed to egoism or selfishness.” People who regularly help others are happier for it. Awakening compassion is one thing, but actualising it is important, too. We can’t all be like the man in the DVD working for the dying in Calcutta, but opportunities for altruism present themselves every day, many times a day. Just asking somebody if you can make them a cup of tea. ‘Putting yourself out’ for others, matters.

We could add:

I. learn to be familiar with negative feelings. This means learning how not fall into, or not be identified with negativity, or reactivity in general;

II. be playful. Indeed, being playful is healthy. (That’s one thing that I enjoy about the Dalai Lama is how playful he is);

III. actively practice relaxation methods (for instance, Herbert Benson’s relaxation technique;

IV. Explore steps in forgiveness, or releasing grudges. Hating someone is the absolutely best way to be unhappy.

V. And, of course, take care of diet and exercise.

One thing that struck me was how every culture in the world has an understanding about happiness. The bushmen of the Kalahari, those old Japanese folk, you and I – all around the world – despite the cynical nay-sayers, we know that being happy is good. (Note, if you are familiar Thomas Lewis’ long-ago essay about the tragedy of the Ik, it turns out that they, too, know what happiness is!)

Last night I spent a few hours with friends, in conversation, and along with the wisdom, the deep respect for each other, and the tenderness for each other’s welfare, one of the most memorable parts of the evening for me was the uproarious laughter.

It’s important to not chase happiness, of course. Overly-earnest about happiness doesn’t work. And, be glad of small steps, I’d say. A happy person isn’t one who’s happy all the time – it’s someone in whom happiness arises regularly; or, at best, in whom happiness is an underlying tone.

My only problem, with the DVD, was with how definitive they were about the states of happiness achievable without a deeply contemplative life; that is, without the insight work which is normally called ‘spiritual.’ Most situational happiness – happiness dependent on outer circumstances – can be rocked by a change in those circumstances. This is why the Nikāya Buddha spoke of liberation of the mind as being the ‘highest happiness.’ It’s unshakable.

Nevertheless, the ways of behaving portrayed in the DVD (which include most of my suggestions above) are really smart – contemplation, or no contemplation. So, like most things, look for balance in all this. (By the way, here is Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s TEFD talk on flow.) May you all have lots of ‘flow’ in your life in 2016, whatever your situation.